WITHDRAWL [24 Mar 2009|10:25pm] [ mood | working ] My mind has been having an absolute temper tantrum for the last two days, protesting the fact that I haven't been able to write lately. D: I'm going to have to make time to write because otherwise I'm gonna go crazy. I miss everyone! *sob* 6 comments|post comment

Not dead! [02 Mar 2009|09:40am] So I'm not dead, just overworked. =_= I haven't been able to keep up on anime, or anything. I did make some time to watch Kuroshitsuji 16 and 17 recently, and I'm not all the pleased with the direction the anime is taking things. For a while I thought they were doing a good job of deviating from the manga plot, but now I'm worried. :p Unfortunately, the next two months are going to suck pretty hard with work. I've got a big deadline coming up in May - another one of those ones that determine whether or not I stay in grad school. I guess it's good to be immersed in your work, but it makes me sad that I don't seem to have any brainspace for writing of any kind. ;_; And I missed Sharon's birthday! D: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARON!! 8 comments|post comment

thoughts on some anime and my love life [13 Jan 2009|09:14pm] ( Yozakura Quartet = Disappointing. (spoiler alert!) ) ( Ending of Vampire Knight Guilty ) ( Thoughts on Soul Eater so far (warning: mostly fangirling of Stein >_>) ) NEWSFLASH!!! Kuroshitsuji is still awesome. :3 And RL... ( Having two guys is fun. Juicy details under the cut... ) 2 comments|post comment

[07 Jan 2009|09:29pm] Both my men are back in town, work has started up again, and I've been consumed by an original project lately. Things have been... BUSY. o_o [Edit] Ok, I know I just complained about being busy and all, but I think I need Soul Eater. >_> Anyone know where I can get working torrents (batch even?) for the earlier episodes? 5 comments|post comment

10 C = 50 F [01 Jan 2009|06:17pm] [ mood | cold ] A few notable things on the first day of 2009: YIKES: The subject refers to the temperature in my house right now. Our oil tank ran empty and it's f-f-freezing in here. I thought I could make it until tomorrow for the scheduled delivery, but I called our oil people. N-n-n-need heat!! YAY: Oil guy coming tonight! YAY: I have a date tomorrow! YOWZA: He looks like Joaquin Phoenix PHOOEY: We haven't been dating long enough for me to use the lack of heat as an excuse to invite myself over to his house. KYAA: Kuroshitsuji has 26 confirmed episodes! Maybe everyone else knew that but I am lame and just checked ANN today. ^^; ZOMG: I have the last ep of Vampire Knight Guilty and I'm gonna watch it right now while I eat!! 2 comments|post comment

Yaoi vs. Hentai... and non-porn porn [30 Dec 2008|10:48pm] [ mood | contemplative ] Ok, this is really bad of me, but I have a confession to make. So I'm really enjoying Toradora and a while ago, torrents for a bunch of Toradora hentai doujinshi were posted on Tokyotosho. I was like "Oh no, I couldn't possibly!" but then I binged on like 3 episodes and then kiiiiiinda became interested. >_> Because I am truly a bad person. I thought, "I'll just try it." They were terrible. I tried the Ryuuiji/Ami ones just for the Hot factor (not really my ship in that show) and the characters designs were unrecognizable. To the recycle bin with them. Then I tried a few Ryuuji/Taiga ones and they were awful. I'm not kidding, the plot in one of them was Taiga bringing Ryuuji a drink while he's playing video games (something she would NEVER do!) and she trips and spills all over her enormous tits (?!?!?!?) and her clothes fall off. WTF whose shirt becomes unbuttoned and panties fall off when they trip?! I don't know, a few pages later she looked to be in control, so maybe she was manipulating him with the "oh noes, my clothes fell off and I'm confused and it would be so easy for you to stick your dick in me right now" act, but why would she bother? o_O He'd do anything she said. She would be demanding as hell, that's more like how it would go down. I dunno, it was just lame. More food for my recycle bin. I've been reading yaoi doujinshi and BL manga for many years (I linked 4 different places to get it in my last post for those who are interested) and I have NEVER seen such a stupid plot before. I'm not saying I haven't come across some GW and FMA doujin of mind-boggling, eye-melting stupidity before, because they're out there. It's just that, over all, it's amazing the difference between what's aimed at men vs. women. And I'm not even talking about stuff for women being more "romantic" because I don't like romance. All I want is a good story and well-drawn characters. I'll even compromise with one if the other is REALLY amazing! ^^; I'm looking at you, Nishimura Shuuko, with those hot hot men and cracktastic stories! Even when the story is cliche or silly, there's still a STORY. Bah. Anyway. Is all hentai like that? There must be some hot hentai out there. I mean, like hot man on woman. Right? Anyone know? Ok, as for non-porn porn, if I don't get some soon for Kuroshitsuji, I'm going to explode. The anime is so so so so soooo Sebastian/Ciel shippy, it's driving me up the wall! *o* It's way worse than the manga, it's like all fanservice! *O* I don't want standard porn, though, you know because of the shota ICK factor. I want, like, a fic about Ciel making Sebastian do things just to amuse himself, and just getting weirder and weirder. And Sebastian would of course do all these humiliating things with a smug look on his face, like it was his idea to start with... This image is OH SO INSPIRING. *_* *cough* Ahem. >_> But you know what I mean? Their entire relationship is based on control games. Episode 9 was kind of like that - Ciel just trying to get the better of Sebastian. Like when he unties his tie just to make Sebastian tie it again. *explodes* I'm not a very clever writer, and I don't do subtlety very well, but if someone doesn't write that shit I'm gonna have to try, now aren't I? 7 comments|post comment

xmas update [24 Dec 2008|02:53pm] Back on planet Hoth in the frozen wastelands of the North. I stepped out of the airport and my nosehairs froze. XP On the train to the airport I saw a young man reading Gravitation. o_o I felt kinda bad for him... I mean, if you want gay manga, you can do 100 times better than Gravitation, you just have to know where to get it. I picked up the book Shogun at a thrift store before coming here. Been interested in reading it since my 10th grade social studies teacher had us read excerpts from it. I wouldn't say I'm enjoying it, but it's been interesting at least. My flight was delayed 2 hours so I picked up the book Going Postal by Terry Pratchett for something lighter to read, and I loved it. I usually stick to his Discworld books about the Watch (♥♥♥♥) but Going Postal was a really fun read. I got suckered in to going to church today. sjvkasbfkvbskdjv >____<;;; I'm really just going to sing carols with my mom, ok? And look really awesome in front of my old friends' parents so they can tell their kids how gorgeous and successful I am. And there's no one at the house to hang out with since my sis is not here this year. I will undoubtedly get offended at some point, so I will do my usual coping mechanism of thinking of the most perverted thing I can. I've definitely leveled-up on the pervertedness now with the OT3. :3 (No, I haven't gotten to work rewriting all the Vampire Knight porn I lost yet. ;_;) Happy holidays everyone! :D 4 comments|post comment

what's been going on [17 Dec 2008|11:07pm] [ mood | busy ] Well, first of all, regarding my last post: I accidentally deleted an important folder (didn't realize it was highlighted when I hit delete). I tried three different file recovery programs and finally got just about everything back. What I didn't get was the file of 25-30 pages of planning/pre-writing for the Vampire Knight fics I'm trying to write. It could have been worse, but I'm still taking it kinda hard and the idea of writing it all again is depressing. I just don't understand how THAT FILE got overwritten in 5 minutes and everything else did not. -_- Otherwise, things have been good, lots of holiday partying and no work getting done. I've been doing entirely too much drinking already this week (yeah, monday and tuesday. >_> What?) We gave our final exam today so I'm done teaching for the year! :D Tomorrow is a party, Friday is two parties (one of which I am throwing), Saturday is clean-up and grading, and Sunday is travel home to see my parents. I might have two guys in my life again pretty soon. x_x Two that I really like this time, which is somehow worse. XD The one that was off limits previously is now fair game (once grades are in *coughcough*) and I just met a really awesome guy through a friend. So we'll see how this works out... post comment

[14 Dec 2008|10:05pm] [ mood | nauseated ] Can anyone recommend a good file recovery program? *sob* 1 comment|post comment

[FIC] Dividing By Zero (Vampire Knight) [07 Dec 2008|10:31am] Dividing By Zero Fandom: Vampire Knight Rating: XXX Pairings: threesome! Mostly Zero/Yuki and Kaname/Yuki, but a little Kaname/Zero. :3 Something for everyone! Spoilers: thru VK Guilty anime episode 8!! This is Future Fic! It is set at an undefined point post-Rido arc. Note: This is actually one of the middle chapters to a multi-part fic, but I’ve decided to release the chapters out of order. Be watching for more! Zero is my muse. <3 Authorflail: threesomes are odd… you can imagine it’s different for them every time, this is just what they happened to get up to this particular time… Enjoy! ( A mathematical impossibility ) 4 comments|post comment

GUILTY [06 Dec 2008|11:06pm] [ mood | x_x ] Oh, god. I've done it. x_x It took me five years to write het, and now, after eight years in anime fanfiction pr0n, the impossible has happened: I have written a threesome. You can all blame Jana. I was minding my own business and she had to go and get me hooked on Vampire Knight. *whines pitifully* You don't understand! This show, like, REQUIRES an OT3! D: I was powerless against it! Anybody on the list interested in reading this abomination? Pairing is... oh god, I don't even know how the slashies go! x_x Kaname/Yuki/Zero/Yuki?? That's all I can come up with. Anyway, who's up for 7 pages of sticky sticky hot hot threeway smex? 6 comments|post comment

Ok, enough of that nonsense. [19 Nov 2008|10:49pm] Dumping one guy and avoiding the other. (Third one is NOT an option right now for a variety of reasons.) Back to my fictional men. :) post comment

[15 Nov 2008|02:15pm] I almost got myself into a lot of trouble last night - with a third guy. x_x To be fair, I didn't realize he was asking me out to be his DATE to the party, I thought he was just inviting me to a party. It was an awesome party. I danced with a lot of really fun people who have only seen me in scrubs before, so it was a great time. See, I knew I was gonna get in trouble, too! I almost said no to this guy because he's a cutie and I've had my eye on him, and I wasn't sure I could keep my hands off him if I went, and well... It's difficult to extricate oneself from a situation one wants to be in... ~_~;;; But in the end I started to get a little irritated by how strong he was coming on, and that helped me get in my car and take off before things got really out of hand. It was 5am by then. Obviously I need to go back to being a hermit because I don't know how to conduct myself like a thinking human being. 2 comments|post comment

TRAMP!! (again) [08 Nov 2008|06:59pm] Seeing two guys again. -_- Gonna go tramp it up tonight instead of write. As my rather astute roommate said, "If you're doing this, I take it neither of them are really blowing you away." Ain't that the truth. 3 comments|post comment

random complaining [07 Nov 2008|10:23pm] So are all the manga scanlation groups on hiatus or something? Or is there some new rule at yaoi_daily stating that they're only accepting Lelouch doujinshi now? It's been WEEKS since anything good turned up at Y_D! I'm addicted to my yaoi - I NEEEED IT! Trying to work on Reperio, but kinda tired... 2 comments|post comment

[05 Nov 2008|12:36am] That speech almost made me cry with happiness. I am so proud of my country right now. THIS is my America and THIS is my president. 1 comment|post comment

I don't understand. :( [03 Nov 2008|10:51pm] [ mood | gloomy ] Growing up I had this idea that in order to be happy and to be a good partner to someone, you had to understand yourself, love yourself, and know how to be independent - be a whole person on your own rather than half a person looking for someone to make them whole. So I worked hard to cultivate confidence and self-awareness, and learn what makes me happy in life and have fun no matter what. And where has it gotten me? I'm 28, perennially single, "perfectly happy being on my own" (my mother's concerned words), and worst of all, every man I've dated since I was 22 has told me in one way or another that I'm intimidating. I've been seeing this new guy on the weekends for 4 weeks now and he still doesn't have the courage to take things further. Now, when I see something I want, I usually go for it, but that's not the case here. Maybe this is harsh, but I'm ambivalent, so he needs to do something to get me interested. What happened to men with balls? Seriously. "Nice guys" complain that women like assholes, but maybe that's because assholes have self-confidence. This was the problem with the last guy I was serious with, and yeah, there's a damn good reason that was two years ago - I wanted a break from this crap! I'm so sick of insecure men! (Uh oh, this is me being "intimidating" again, isn't it?) I had a brief and somewhat awkward talk with this new guy and he complained that he didn't feel important or something. My dad has also expressed concern that I don't open myself up and let myself need anyone. I don't get it. :( What's so bad about not needing someone, but wanting them? I always thought it would be better to have a terrific partner who wanted me around rather than needed me and depended on me. Am I wrong? I dunno, I guess I need to show more vulnerability? Is that what men want from me? ...that's stupid. -_- 10 comments|post comment

[30 Oct 2008|11:17am] HAPPY BIRTHDAY DC!!! Hope you have a terrific birthday! ♥♥♥♥ 1 comment|post comment

One HELL of a butler [27 Oct 2008|10:51pm] I have to make a post about how much I love Kuroshitsuji. XD It's not even that good, I just love it. Little synopsis by yours truly: The legedary Faust traded his soul for happiness and knowledge. Twelve-year-old Ciel Phantomhive has traded his in exchange for becoming the head of the Phantomhive estate. Heading the world's number one toy manufacturing company and carrying the title of Earl might seem like a bit much for a boy his age, but the Young Master has expert help in the form of his butler, the unflappable Sebastian. Sebastian butles and bosses the staff around with smug aplomb, but he serves his master with dog-like loyalty. It's not just Sebastian's swirling red eyes that suggest something otherwordly about him - the silver sparkles, the desserts are exquisite, the linens are pressed to perfection, and his reflexes are second to none. With Sebastian at his side, Ciel Phantomhive seems to have it all. But as Ciel well knows, what has been lost can never be recovered, and you can't take back a deal once its been made. Sebastian is pure awesome and I really like Ciel. I like him a lot more than I thought I would. Part of it is his voice, which is brilliant. I went and looked it up: Maaya Sakamoto. *_* NO WONDER! Love her!! Anyway, he's a very serious kid with dignity enough for 5 earls. The supporting cast of house staff are amusing enough (goofy maid, adorable gardener, doofus cook, and... what does Tanaka-san do? XD). I accidentally spoiled myself hunting for icons and it looks like there's going to be plenty of interesting characters. Holding off on ships for now... ( Thoughts, spoilery stuff for anime eps 1&2 ) 14 comments|post comment

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